Are you ready to read some ZOOOOMMMMMMBBBBBIIIIIEEEEE Fiction?!
Mini Rumbles are head to head, one time only, out of nowhere, zombie fiction action.
Our very first rumble is a special one, but I can’t tell you why until the votes are in! So read the stories and head over to The Reanimated Writers Zombie Fan Group on Facebook to vote for A or B!
Subject: Rotting Flesh, But a Big Heart!
Hi! My name is Grahhg. I’m a new member here on UndeadDates.com. I came across your profile and have to say, you’re definitely pushing up more than daisies! I know it shouldn’t be all about physical aspects, but I’m sure you know how hard it is to find someone that isn’t missing a body part or has a ghastly visible wound. We might be dead, but we’re still vain right? Ha! I’d love to learn more about you, maybe how you turned?
Check out my profile and write back if you’re interested in chatting.
Subject: re: Rotting Flesh, But a Big Heart!
Hi! Thanks for sending such a down to earth message. You wouldn’t believe how many are nothing more than cheap one-liners and pictures of their junk. Speaking of, the message I received right before yours was just that, a picture of a green, shriveled penis. I mean, c’mon. I know we’re all decaying and stuff, but the least a zombie could do is pretend it’s still attached. I’m still shaking my head wondering what he was thinking.
As far as how I turned, I’m one of those ‘Natural Causes’ or at least that’s what it said on my death certificate. But really, it was complications from surgery. I’d gone in for some elective ‘enhancements’ and they gave me too much anesthesia or something like that. I never woke up. Stupid surgeon. He didn’t even finish the surgery, so now I have one 36d and one 36b. I know you were looking for someone intact, but are you ok if I’m a little lopsided?
Like everyone, I carry the virus now, so when I died, I turned. It only happened six months ago, so I’m still fairly new at being dead and dating.
How about you? From your age, it looks like you were alive, um… dead, before the truce?
Subject: Stupid Surgeon!
I’m sorry to hear about how you died. Stupid surgeon! That’s a real tragedy, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say, I think it might be a blessing for me! 🙂 I’m ok with lopsided. The last woman I dated had been turned when her boyfriend died in his sleep. He woke up and took bites right out of her chest. I had a hard time being intimate with her, all I could think about was her ex, Brian. It’s not true what they say about couples that die together, they don’t always stay together.
Yes, I was turned very early. During the first days of the outbreak. A full two years before the truce.
I’m happy to report that despite all that time, my body is still intact, except seven holes in my chest and one in my thigh, but they’ve been filled in by a mortician, so I look as good as any war time zombie might.
As far as how I got turned, well, when I was among the living as it were, I was a sergeant at Briggs Air Force Base. You might recall that’s where it all started, that’s where my platoon was stationed. The day the lab broke containment and let the virus out, we were away on a training exercise, so we were lucky to not get contaminated by the initial outbreak.
The rest of the base and most of the town around it was infected in minutes. He who would become our leader was at the base for a benefit concert. A small group of soldiers was able to get him locked in a safe room and radio the brass about what was going on. Well, evidently, he was some general’s daughter’s crush or something, so they called us in. There was some sort of vaccine in the lab. They sent us in to get it and use it on Justin.
Anyway, we got there, blasted our way through to the lab, found the vaccine and fought our way to the safe room. As you probably know, the vaccine didn’t cure him, he was already infected and instead of stopping the virus, it just amplified it. Made him smart again and stronger. He turned us all and then the war began.
Are you talking to anyone else on here?
Subject re: Stupid Surgeon
Giggle. I love your subject line! Thanks for the history lesson. I knew some of it, but I’ve never talked to anyone that was there at the beginning and who was actually turned by Bieber! How exciting!
No, I’m not talking to anyone else just yet. You’re the only one kind enough to carry on a conversation. The rest have just been dick pics and ‘show me your brains!’
Tell me, is Grahhg your real name? Mines Julz. And what’s your ideal first date?
Subject: First Date Adventure?
No, Grahhg, is not my real name. It’s Greg, but since most of us deaders suffer from muscle atrophy in our throats, it always comes out Grahg. So I’ve just started telling people that’s my name.
As for my ideal first date, how would you feel about an adventure?
Subject: re: First Date Adventure?
I love adventure! Tell me more!
Subject: re: re: First Date Adventure?
Ok! Then I want to take you out for a nice meal, where I’ll regale you with stories from the war. Instead of dining at one of our restaurants, we’ll sneak over to the human side of town and find that surgeon of yours. We’ll dine on an arm or two and finish off with his privates. Then leave him to turn! He won’t be able to send pics of his junk to anyone! Lol!
What do you think?
Waiting nervously for your response!
Subject: re: re: re: First Date Adventure?
It’s a date!
Oh and Long Live Bieber!
4 pm Sunday
My thoughts and prayers are with the victims of the riots in Kissimmee. #PrayForOKissimmee
“It’s a damn shame when you can’t even go to the vacation capital of the world and not have some crazy shit go down.” I said as I was liking the tweets and spreading the news to my followers.
“What are you talking about?” John asked.
“Jesus, John, don’t you ever check the news?”
“That isn’t news. That’s gossip. This is the real news,” he said as he flipped the TV over to one of those twenty-four hour a day news channels.
“Weirdo.” I mumbled under my breath as I scrolled through my google results to see who had the most up to the minute coverage of the tragedy. Hundreds were dead, and hundreds more were injured, with those numbers ticking upward as the night began.
10 am Monday
Someone should build a wall around Florida. That kind of crazy only happens there. #PrayForKissimmee #PrayForDaytona
I placed the phone on the counter and walked to the sink to fill the kettle up. The sky outside was clear and blue, with no indication that a few hundred miles away, the world was tearing itself apart. My morning had been a complete loss for productivity. Between the TV playing the scenes of the chaos on repeat, and the constant pings of notifications on my phone as each news organization updated their feed, I was unable to do anything but stare in disbelief.
5 pm Monday
Are we at war? #Kissimmee #Daytona #Jacksonville #SomeoneDoSomething #StillPraying
John opened the door and immediately looked disappointed in me. “Not you, too.”
“Is it five already? Shit, I am so sorry. I got nothing done today.”
“I can see that.” He said as he hung his coat on the hook near the door. “You’re not the only one. Everyone at work was useless. Not that they are ever really work, but today was ridiculous. It was so bad that Jamie just told everyone to go home early. I stuck around because it was the first time in months that I could get anything done without all the bullshit.”
“I’ll get dinner started. What do you want?” I popped my phone on the charger. It was almost dead anyway.
10 pm Monday
This can’t be happening. Did the president just use the z word? #Zombies #PrayForFlorida #PrayForOurTroops #GottaBeAJoke
“Come to bed.” John said. “You can’t fix anything staring at your phone.”
“But, it’s getting closer, John. The riots are climbing the coast. Aren’t you worried?”
“No, we are out in the middle of nowhere.” He said as he pulled me to my feet. “I’ll grab the gun out of the safe if it will make you feel better.”
“One of us should stay awake, just in case.” I protested.
“That’s what we have Pepper for.” He scratched our yorkie’s head and carried him up the stairs in one arm, and the gun in his other.
“I’ll be up in ten minutes. You head up without me. I know you had a long day and you’re probably tired.”
“Fine, but don’t be too long. You know I can’t sleep right in the bed alone.”
3 am Tuesday
I think I hear gunshots. #zombies #PrayForMe #HopeIAmParanoid
I spent too many hours awake last night. John was still sleeping soundly, along with Pepper. Those couldn’t be gunshots off in the distance. The dog would have woken up and lost his mind. He isn’t able to handle a strong thunderstorm, let alone a riot. I wondered if I should go up and wake the dog up. It was his job to guard the house after all. With him watching the windows and doors, I could fall asleep for a few minutes.
7 am Tuesday
I’m in the closet with my husband and dog. The monsters are right outside. Is there anybody out there? #PrayForUs #ZombiesAreReal #ArmYourself #FinalThoughts #LoveYouMom
“Put down the god damned phone!” John was yelling as Pepper barked frantically at the closet door.
“They need to know it is real, John! They need to be able to save themselves!”
“They who? We need to worry about here and now! Those things are going to get in here and rip us apart! We need to come up with a plan!” John wasn’t a yeller, but there he stood gun drawn facing the inch or so of wood standing between us and a painful death.
“Them.” I said motioning towards the phone. “Our friends, our family. The world. I don’t know. Everyone.”
“They aren’t here right now. I am. And I need you to pull it together. You should be searching through the piles of shit in this room you needed for your clothes to see if there is anything in here that we can use, not trying to get validation from people you have never even met.” I guess we weren’t hiding our resentments anymore.
“It’s just shoes, clothes and purses. How are we going to use that against zombies!” I wasn’t a yeller either, but a crisis can bring out the worst in you.
“Fine. I will look. God knows I am the only one who wants us to live. Could you at least hold the gun, or do I have to do both?”
“I can hold the gun. It would help, though, if you had ever shown me how to use the thing.” I spat back.
“Just point and shoot. It isn’t that freaking hard.”
Armed and ready #Zombies #BiteMe #StaySafe #GeorgiaStrong (Attached: cute picture of me and gun)
“Are you shitting me!” He smacked the phone out of my hand and stepped on it.
The sound of the cracking screen snapped something inside me. I didn’t realize the trigger was pulled until I saw his look as his hands went to his bleeding chest. His body fell to the floor as the door broke open. Pepper bolted out through my legs and past the monsters who were filling the small room.
Our first full Reanimated Rumble competition is available on Amazon with all 15 matches and several bonus stories for the low low price of 99 cents! Head over and grab your copy today!